


Kill Or Be Killed

by GammaDraconis



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Non-Magical, Angst and Humor, Complete, Dark Comedy, Drug Use, Enemies to Friends, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Eventual Romance, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Humor, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Light BDSM, Lust, Mild Sexual Content, Murderer Draco Malfoy, No Sex, No Smut, Reader-Insert, References to Drugs, Sexual Themes, Strangers to enemies, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-12
Packaged: 2020-07-27 21:27:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20052799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GammaDraconis/pseuds/GammaDraconis
Summary: Almost unpredictably, she looked up and flashed Ron a smile, whose ears immediately flushed pink. Sure enough, the signatures matched and he handed her her bag, after which, she soon stepped out. “What the hell was that, Ron?” Ron just shook his head and looked over at her, before glancing back at the Employees Only room.Y/N Y/L/N. He thought. How convenient. He looked over at the girl exiting, making a mental note. He quickly closed up the register and placed a ‘Next Counter Please’ sign for the next employee to take off. Ron had already cleaned up his area and had started heading back to the Employees Only room, probably to change.Y/N. Draco finished up and put his hands in his pockets, heading back himself as he noticed a few other employees shuffling over. Physically, she’s an ordinary female, but mentally, just as spoilt and awful as Father.orLife’s done Draco a 180 and he’s out for blood.





	1. Life Kills

**Author's Note:**

> First posted on my tumblr - eltanin-malfoy.

_Smoke._

That beloved scent filled Draco’s lungs as he took a drag from the wrinkled brown stick in his hand, his steely eyes shutting as its end glows red. He held it away for a few seconds as he exhaled, white clouds slipping out of his lips into the cold air in front of him. His eyes followed his own exhalation into the sky, his fingers fidgeting with the green lighter he’d used to ignite his toxic addiction with. 

He grinned, then brought the cigarette to his lips for another puff, then another, then another, till slowly, the tube of tar was finally used up. He folded up what was left of his papery weapon with his thin fingers and finally tossed it to the ground. He reached into his pocket for his pack, searching for even more release.

He lifted his gaze to the scene in front of him, the concrete jungle that was Bond Street. The expensive logos were practically calling out his name. I_t’s just my fucking luck, isn’t it?_ He scowled at the crowds gathered around the area. _My lovely parents just had to go get themselves arrested and leave me all by myself._ He instinctively grit his teeth as memories of his _awful_ father fluttered through his brain. _At least I don’t have to associate with that.. that.. tyrant anymore. _

“Draco? Two minutes left in your break, son.”

The pale blonde rolled his eyes as he stared out front, but looked back and flashed his elderly boss a (fake) smile. She nodded and stepped back inside, arms crossed around her portly frame as she shivered. 

It had only been a few months since his parents had been arrested by the government after being convicted of illegally possessing and smuggling famed works of art, literature and the like. When the authorities first began their investigation, _Lucius_ had said that it would all work itself out, even though the police’s suspicions were absolutely correct. He had connections everywhere, after all. But, alas! A search warrant had made its way to Malfoy Manor before his parents had the opportunity to sweep everything under the rug, and.. even their very expensive defence lawyer wasn’t able to hide the fact that they were caught red handed.

This had led to a crapload of problems in Draco’s own life. To begin with, he wouldn’t be able to see his mother for at least another decade. His parents’ fortune (and his trust fund, of course!) was seized by the government, leaving him absolutely broke, and forced to drop out in the second year of his Chemistry degree at the very prestigious Oxford University. He’d tried hard to find some kind of a placement in any of his parents’ friends’ companies, but no, they’d decided to stop associating with any member of the Malfoy clan. So, he managed what he could and left his old grand life in Wiltshire for some kind of meagre lifestyle in London. Working as a cashier at Tesco probably wasn’t the worst thing he could be doing.. It was minimum wage, but, it wasn’t hard. Didn’t require much energy. 

Draco, for one, had never understood his parents’ motivation to undertake that.. that.. stupidity. 

His parents’ family fortune had had practically no purpose in the first place. There wasn’t a glint of compassion in his father’s heart, and all he wanted to use it for was to satisfy his own wants. Illegally purchasing stolen historical artifacts? Of course. Selling them off to others for even greater profits? Sure! But giving a beggar even a single pound? Absolutely not. This total greed and attitude of disgust his father had had used to interest him when he was younger, back in secondary school. He’d made a habit of showing off his wealth and talking down to those who didn’t have much in comparison. But as he grew up.. he’d realised how awful it was.

Especially now that he was only twenty, absolutely alone and having to live off of four hundred pounds a week. It seemed like a lot, at first, but once you factored in rent, food and basic needs, he was barely left with a handful to work with. His heart practically broke every time he caught sight of a homeless person and somehow, so different to his former self, he’d find himself searching in his wallet for spare notes to hand them.

He quickly opened up the pack of cigarettes and pulled out one to satiate himself, stress bubbling up in his veins. He shoved the box almost haphazardly back into the pocket of his coat, then held it to his lips and flicked his lighter, the brilliant orange flame lighting the tip of the cigarette. He took a drag and looked around again, slowly turning to walk back to his place of work. He took a few deep puffs and was just about to trash it when he heard.. what sounded like a struggle? 

He headed down the alleyway, to a bit of a darker turn, instinctively slicking back his platinum blonde hair. He finally got a glimpse of what was happening. There was a girl, probably around the same age as him, having a dynamic disagreement with a.. homeless old person? His protective instincts kicked into gear as he saw her swatting at him with the umbrella in her hand, yelling at him for what sounded like.. attempting to trip her?

The old man was shielding himself with a blanket, his arms over his head as he called for help. Draco, feeling almost like his saviour, pushed the girl away, which, he realised was not the best move with his tall figure, made her fall to the ground with a loud squeal. The old man set the blanket down and looked up at the lack of commotion, then gave the lanky blonde a smile. He even mouthed a soft ‘thank you’ and Draco waved his hand, reassuring him that it was no big deal. He took a deep breath, about to turn on his heel to leave, but found himself scowling down at the girl, who was slowly getting up again.

“Why did you do that?” She panted, her hair messy as she got back onto her feet. She wasn’t exactly well built herself, her face was a bit pale and there were hints of shadows under her eyes as she glared up at him. She dusted herself off and placed her hand on her denim-covered knee, wincing the slightest bit. She quickly rose up again and brought her hands to her hips. “Don’t need to look at me like that.” She clenched her jaw and Draco realised that he’d been silent all this while.

“Don’t need.. idiots like you treating helpless people the way you did. Fucking awful, that was.” He looked her over quickly, his gaze pausing at the straps of the backpack on her shoulders. “You.. you students think you can just get away with anything, don’t you?” He found himself getting a bit more heated, his cheeks slowly beginning to turn purple. 

She opened her mouth to speak, but Draco rolled his eyes and finally turned to leave, walking back down the alleyway without a word. “Well, we don’t need pricks like you defending these oh so helpless people when they try to steal something from someone.” She called out after him and he stopped, staring to the front, before looking over his shoulder. Instead of locking eyes with her, he saw the same homeless man, staring into space as he huddled up with that blanket. Draco felt the slightest pang of guilt in his gut, but ignored it and continued, still choosing to believe that she was just.. an embodiment of his own father. 

_Nasty and entitled._ He thought to himself as he slipped off his coat, setting it on a rack in the Employee’s Only room. _Bet she hasn’t known any real problems in her life. Bet she’s not even a fucking good student. _He felt his rage boiling up within him again, but stared at himself in the small mirror by the door. He placed his hands on his reddened cheeks and forced himself to calm down, taking deep breaths and reassuring himself of his own ability. Looking very flustered wasn’t exactly ideal for a cashier in a supermarket, after all.

***

Draco ran the carton of milk over the scanner. _Beep._ He passed it over to the red haired boy to the side of him, who began to stuff it into a plastic bag. He tried his best not to glance at his customer, but his curiosity bested him and he reluctantly flashed the dark middle aged man a smile. He shook it off and stared at the monitor in front of him. “That’ll be ninety four pounds and thirty pence, sir.” He looked over at the man as he pulled out his wallet and ruffled through it to hand him a few notes, along with a few coins. 

“Oh, and I found this in the Car Care aisle.” He pulled out yet another wallet from his pocket, a black, leather one… just like Draco’s father’s.. He let out a sharp exhale and gently took it from him, setting it on the counter. “Thank you, sir. We’ll announce that it’s missing right away.”

The boy then stuffed the notes into the drawer of the cashier, pulling out the one and returning it to the man. “Here’s your change! Thank you for shopping at Tesco, have a nice day!” He forced the words out of his mouth, his voice dry. He could act well, back in the day, but now, he wasn’t exactly willing to try. The ginger opened his mouth to speak. “Hope to see you again, sir, thanks for returning the wallet you found!” A bright smile on his stupid face. _Ugh! Always got to suck up to them, doesn’t he?_ Draco grit his teeth as he shut the register, looking up to see that there was no more customers queuing at the counter. 

He opened up the wallet and looked it over, then noticed the name on a credit card in one of the sleeves to the front. There were a couple of ID cards in the others, but.. he couldn’t exactly be bothered. He leaned down and pulled out the small microphone wired to the counter, thought his announcement up, pressed the button besides it and opened his mouth to speak. 

“A black leather wallet belonging to a Y/N Y/L/N was just found in the Car Care aisle. Kindly approach counter number 4 for more details, please.” He called out, almost monotonously, closing the wallet up and setting it away. He turned it off and set it away. He looked over at the wallet again and _goddamn Lucius’ _face flashed in his mind again. 

“Can’t seem to learn to act a little nicer, can you, Draco?” Draco lifted his gaze to look over at him, eyes flitting down to the name tag by his collar. _Ron… what a bloke to be forced to spend these hours with.._ Draco furrowed his brows and just shook his head. “No, I can’t. And that’s the way it’ll be. I’m saying what I have to say, and I shouldn’t be judged for not feeling like a chirpy little bird all the time.” “Okay.. whatever.” Ron rolled his eyes and fiddled around with the bags attached to the hooks by the counter, then looked around. “Not a very busy day today, is it?” 

Draco looked down as his eyes widened, somehow Ron had mastered getting on his nerves. “No, it’s not. Not a lot of people out this late at night on a Sunday, Ron.” He looked over at the digital clock by the exit of the store, tilting his head and rolling his shoulders lightly. _‘10:47’_ The clock read._ Less than a quarter of an hour until my shift ends and I can get out of this shithole_. He stared into space as he bit down on his lip, grateful that Ron had finally decided to remain silent. It wasn’t too chilly inside, but it was unbearable for every other reason. This forced happiness with every single customer, the annoying radio somehow constantly playing only the songs he seemed to hate, his annoying bag packer.. maybe retail really wasn’t for him. He shook his head and fiddled with the edge of his blue uniform shirt, staring at the clock and waiting for time to pass. 

_Easy money, isn’t it?_ He continued to think to himself. _Have to press a couple of buttons, say a couple of words, stay in my place, everything works out. _He took a deep breath. _Good cover too. No one’s too careful with managing who does the shifts either.. Great alibi, Draco. Could just lie and write my name up in the lists.. No one even cares._ A small smile grew on his face. _No one would even know if it was me.. Not one. Murder isn’t that hard when you’ve got control of the inventory as well. Change a couple numbers, bag a couple of items and take them out with you through the employee’s exit, no one would even know a thing. _

After having to leave university, Draco had grown very, very confused as to what direction to steer his life in. Money wasn’t exactly what he was after.. and it seemed like any past hopes of his of being a research scientist were pointless without some kind of a degree. Chemistry had been his subject of choice, much to his father’s great disdain. He was fine with Draco not even going into tertiary education at all, he had the family business going for him, didn’t he? If you could call it that, then yes. But.. it wasn’t for him. Smuggling wasn’t what interested him, really. It was _murder_, now.

Draco had liked reading about true crime since he was a child. The horrors, the mysteries and everything else had fascinated him to no end. He thought it had just been some kind of juvenile interest of his, some way to satisfy his curiosity. He could never have seen himself attempting any of that. But that was until he was forced out of his lush lifestyle, this whole change had not only upped his anger and generosity towards the rich and the poor, respectively, but also his desire to get rid of the stress inside of him. Nicotine had soon become his drug of choice but.. 

He craved _something_ more.

Roland Hoyt… _oh boy_.. That was the one serial killer Draco had truly been fascinated by. That absolute genius had managed to kill eight people in an old English town with the use of chemicals. It was some mixture of cyanide and barbiturates that he had managed to feed to most of his victims which lead to their death, but what had truly drawn Draco in was the few cases in which Hoyt managed to use his own version of the famed lethal injection. It was beyond wicked, truly. Draco felt like it would be one hell of an insane mission, had felt crooked to the bone even thinking about doing it, but truly, there was no better way to get out his frustration than to just.. do the same. He couldn’t exactly afford any kind of games, or gym membership or as such any longer. And even his most recent ex, Pansy, had seemed to lose any interest in him once he lost his fortune. Talking to girls wasn’t exactly his forte to begin with, anyways. 

He just wanted to try it, really. Out of curiosity. Just someone who no one would miss, would even know they were missing. He knew it was absolutely awful of him to even try.. But he’d studied up enough to know how to get away with it, and try he very well would. Or at least try to try, right?

He was snapped out of his thoughts with a nudge to the shoulder from his accompanying bag packer. His head shot up and looked over at him. “What is it, Weasley?” Ron pointed over at the other side of the counter where a new customer was stood.

“Not you again..” 

Draco suddenly froze, instantly recognising that voice. He looked up hesitantly and locked eyes with her. _It’s that bitch from earlier! Should bar her from coming in here, really!_ He grit his teeth and pursed his lips slightly, but soon opened his mouth to speak. “Good evening, miss.” His tone seemed a bit cheery, but was obviously rich in sarcasm. “The wallet’s mine.. “ He almost snarled at this, but placed the wallet on the counter. “Are you sure? Or are you just trying to..? You really Y/N Y/L/N?”

She rolled her eyes and took the wallet, opening it up delicately. “Do you really think I’d steal a wallet? You shouldn’t be allowed to work here, honestly.” She pushed a single bottle of antifreeze forwards, fiddling with the ends of her hair. Draco quickly sized her up as she moved forward. The backpack was gone, replaced by a small satchel bag over her shoulder. She seemed to have changed as well, while he couldn’t remember what kind of shirt she was wearing, the jeans she had on were replaced by some shorts.. and what seemed like a small plaster over her knee. He took the bottle of antifreeze and brought it up to the scanner.

“Well, good thing I have a _kind_ manager, then.” He rolled his eyes as the machine beeped, passing the bottle along to Ron, who almost dropped it at first. Draco looked over at him and his eyes were practically stuck on the girl as she glared at Draco. She suddenly looked over at Ron as well, launching into another attack. “Has Tesco seriously started employing assholes who push customers around when no one else is looking?” She bit down on her lip, awaiting some kind of a response.

“Well-well..” Ron stuttered out and Draco couldn’t help but cringe for him, pressing a few buttons on the register. “He’s just the one.. Really. The rest of us are.. not bad.” The girl seems unsatisfied with this response, but continued to look at him, studying his reaction. “So.. you’re not bad then?” She asked, eyeing the redhead quizzically now. “I can be great for a pretty girl like-” “That’ll be seven pounds.” Draco looked over at Ron to see him staring back disapprovingly, arms crossed over his chest. He could feel the slight snarl growing on his face, but snapped out of it, knowing he couldn’t have this girl actually complain about him to his superiors. “Paying by card?” He flipped a card reader over to her, then pressed a few buttons on his own register. She nodded and fit it into the slot, waiting patiently as it flashed an ‘Approved’ sign. “There..” 

Draco rolled his eyes yet again, reaching over to grasp the receipt that had just finished printing out. “Miss, you need to sign and write down your contact number here. Just for verification purposes.” He placed a pen right next to it and took a slight step back, studying her for a second. _She seems.. easy? A bit violent.. But easily taken care of. Fell like a twig._ He shook the thought from his head for a second, looking down as she finished up.

Almost unpredictably, she looked up and flashed Ron a smile, whose ears immediately flushed pink. Sure enough, the signatures matched and he handed her her bag, after which, she soon stepped out. “What the hell was that, Ron?” Ron just shook his head and looked over at her, before glancing back at the Employees Only room.

_Y/N Y/L/N_. He thought. _How convenient_. He looked over at the girl exiting, making a mental note. He quickly closed up the register and placed a ‘Next Counter Please’ sign for the next employee to take off. Ron had already cleaned up his area and had started heading back to the Employees Only room, probably to change. 

_Y/N._ Draco finished up and put his hands in his pockets, heading back himself as he noticed a few other employees shuffling over. _Physically, she’s an ordinary female, but mentally, just as spoilt and awful as Father._

_Think I’ve found myself a first victim, haven’t I?_


	2. Eye For An Eye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco's keeping an eye on someone... or is it the other way around?

He’d thought of rushing out after her as she’d been exiting before, but no, _that was an awful idea_. He did not need the girl assuming him to be some kind of a stalker pursuing her at night, which, after noticing her feisty nature, would likely lead to one of two negative outcomes : 1. She decides to attack him with her umbrella (he could subdue her, for sure, but his skin was _sensitive_, he didn’t want the bruising to stick out on him like a sore thumb for officers to identify later), or 2. She calls the police (he could attempt to knock her out if she did, but he wasn’t exactly into getting all messy that way, or in any kind of way. He was attempting to kill her with a heavy dosage of potassium chloride, to begin with. _Cleanest way possible_). So he headed right back to the Employee’s Only room, pouring himself a cup of black coffee and feeling smug at his own genius. _Experience really is the best teacher._

Right after his shift, he’d walked home, her name on his lips. He’d whispered it a couple times, any passing stranger might’ve even thought the boy was in love with a Y/N.. but they couldn’t be more wrong, could they? He’d continued to think about her, tried to figure out where she lived, or anywhere else she spent her hours. _She’s a student._ He thought, puffing on yet another cigarette as he walked up the stairs to his apartment, fiddling with the edge of his coat with his free hand. _A university student, right? Didn’t look like a schoolgirl to me. Wasn’t even wearing a uniform to begin with._

He stepped out onto the fourth floor, walking towards his very _luxurious _place of residence. Sigh. The loud hip hop music playing in his neighbour’s house pounded out as he walked across. He tossed the used cigarette butt in his fingers to the side and delved his hand into the pocket of his coat, pulling his house key out. He walked over to the last door on the floor, quickly reaching to unlock it. He stepped in and covered his left ear, flinching slightly as the pounding got even louder. He walked away from the wall he very unfortunately shared with them and quickly locked the door behind him.

He then scoped out his apartment (not.. very small, just the one bedroom, couch, sub-standard television and a tiny kitchen) to make sure there had been nothing shifted around since he’d left. A necessary precaution, since not only was his landlord notorious for being very nosy, but also venturing into a career path as risky as he was planning to was not without its many, many risks. He then walked over to his (very uncomfortable) bed, pulling off his bulky coat and pacing around a bit.

He wasn’t exactly sure what to do with the girl’s name. It was easy enough to remember it, to write it down in his notebook, to look it up on the internet (on Incognito mode, _of course!_)… but it wasn’t easy to figure out who she was, exactly, or what way would be easiest for him to get at her. _Could just push her into oncoming traffic or something.. No need for the chemicals and everything, seen how easily she falls._ A smile crept its way onto his face as he stared out the window facing the rickety study table he’d somehow managed to buy for his apartment. He shook his head. _No. No, it’s too easy. I want to see the light escape her eyes. At first, holding on like as if onto some stray rocks onto a cliff side. I want to see her fight with herself. For her to want to slip away. I want to win._

_But how?_

He pinched his nose bridge as his brain clouded up with thoughts. _How many universities are there around here to begin with?_ He hesitated, sitting up straight and fiddling with the pale blonde mop of hair on his head nervously. _Who’s to say she’s a student at all? Can’t just jump to conclusions like that.. could just fancy carrying backpacks. _He shifted towards the side, gaze travelling over the many cracks on the wall. I_ don’t recall her having a backpack in the supermarket.. so, again, probably a student._

_But if she’s a student, she’s got to have somebody paying her fees, right?_ He furrowed his brows, a bit confused. _Oh come on, you can’t go soft just like that.. She’s clearly an awful person, right? All three minutes you’ve managed to see her, she’s shown off nothing but her lack of empathy. Besides, you just need to make sure she isn’t.. well connected. Just separated enough from everyone in her life for no one to notice after she’s been missing for a few weeks. Or months, if that’s possible._ He knew _this_ was for him.

Unable to make much progress in that instance, he decided to give it a break and take another fix of nicotine. He got up and eased onto his bed, reaching over into his coat to take out the same pack and his beloved lighter. He then kicked off his shoes, bringing his legs up next to himself. He quickly ignited another cigarette and got up, walking over to the table to stare at the street below. _It’s almost December anyways. University final exams have been over a week or so already. She’s either still living at her dorm, which would be.. hard to work around, or has her own apartment, hopefully without a roommate. Or, her roommate may have gone home while she stayed.. or.. maybe she’s home from uni? How the fuck am I supposed to tell-_

No sooner had he lit the last cigarette in the pack that all of a sudden, his neighbour actually turned off that goddamn cacophony. Somehow, the silence surprised him. _W-what’s happening? It hasn’t been this quiet all fifty days since I moved in!_ He heard their front door opening and couldn’t help but listen in to what was going on. Not exactly his fault the walls were that thin.

“Seriously? You’re here to see me now? Do you not understand anything about boundaries?” His neighbour’s voice was.. quite loud, to say the least. It was almost louder than the awful music he chose to play at all hours of the night. “Seriously, Cormac? You haven’t returned a single call or text I’ve sent you this whole week! And the last.” The girl’s voice struck out to him like a bullet.

“Y/N, I’ve just been busy.. You know me, baby.” His voice was a bit softer this time, possibly growing afraid in front of that she-devil.

“Oh, shut up. We both know you’ve just been ignoring me. Did you really think you could end.. this by ghosting me?” Her voice rose an octave as she voiced the second part of her question.

“Well.. come on, I wasn’t _ghosting_ you. I just.. forgot to check my messages.”

Draco could almost hear her rolling her eyes. “Just.. stop it. Do you really think I’m that daft? Goddammit! Maybe I am, can’t believe I gave you even a second of my life. You really are as big of an asshole as everyone says you are!” 

“You can’t just.. come to my house and insult me!” He exclaimed.

“You can’t just treat a girl like a used tissue paper.” She shot back.. _Shit_. “And I’ll bet you’d still text me in a couple of nights when you felt horny again, you bastard!”

One of them then hit the wall they shared and Draco sprung back slightly, not realising how close he’d moved in to eavesdrop on their conversation.

“Fine then, if that’s what you’d like to believe!” Cormac yelled.

“You don’t get to act like the victim, you fucking bastard. Why don’t you go cry in the lap of whichever girl you’ve slept with?” She roared and one of them paced off quickly, walking to the door.

Draco decided to follow along, but trying to come up with a way to piece together a conversation through which he could try and interrogate his neighbour so as to find out as much as possible about his _ex_. _Wait, she bought something for a car. That means she’ll be driving out of here soon.. never mind, there is no parking lot in this sketchy neighbourhood._ He shook his head, walking over to his front door, staring out of the small peephole and at the hallway in front of him. He did, in fact, manage to get a good look at this prospective victim.

“If you have a shred of self-respect, don’t you ever contact me again!!” She cried out, kicking the wall to the side of his neighbour’s door, then flinching back slightly in pain. _Dumb bitch._

“I will not, you clingy bitch!” Cormac returned, which led to her bringing her palm up and smacking it across his face, leaving a red streak over his cheek. Draco had a _sudden sense of deja vu, as though from a dream, or another life_..

“I have nothing more to say to you.. “ She grit her teeth and began walking to the staircase, not showing any sign of weakness in that moment. ‘Cormac’ was still holding his cheek, clearly in pain after her attack. The lad even opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it. _He deserved that, but, is she really always this violent? Would make it hard to take her down like that.._

He quickly walked back over to his bedroom, staring out the window as he awaited her final exit. He reached over and turned off the light, realising that this would be a very good way for her to realise that he was watching her. He watched her step out, shivering slightly in the cold as she crossed her arms. He finally took the last and final puff of his cigarette, and let out a good long exhale. He tossed the cigarette butt out the window, which prompted a soft noise. Y/N turned around at this and even looked up. Her gaze somehow preemptively travelled upwards, staring at the fourth floor windows before pausing for a second at Draco’s own. She squinted slightly and stared down at the floor, before heading off again.

_Damn it._

_People._

He quickly headed back to his front door and peered out, smiling to himself as he caught a glance of Cormac still stood there silently, for some reason waiting for her to return. He opened the door and proceeded to lay it on _thick_. The Malfoys were known for being sly after all, and he kind of felt like acting for a bit, anyway.

“Hey, mate. Couldn’t help but hear what just went down.. You doing alright there?”

Cormac’s flushed a bit at this, obviously embarrassed at the way his new neighbour had come to know of him. “Hey.. I.. yeah, I’m okay. Thanks.” He paused for a second, sizing him up. _Maybe he’s a little intimidated_. Draco could feel how awkward it was getting and decided to take care of that himself. He walked over to his door and held out his hand for him to shake it.

“I’m Draco, some of my mates like to call me ‘Drago’, you know like dragon? Just poking at this huge fear of lizards.” Draco laughed to seem _idiotic, yet ordinary. Wasn’t too hard_, Cormac forced a giggle. _What was he, a fucking schoolgirl?_ “Sorry I didn’t come to see you yet, moving has been a little tricky.”

Cormac slowly lifted his hand and shook it. “Nice to meet ya. I’m Cormac.” _Yeah, I know_. “When did you move in, actually? I hadn’t realised..”

“Couple months back. D’you wanna pop in for a beer? Looks like you might need one.” Cormac smirked at this.

“Could never say no to one of those.” Draco grinned and walked back over to his flat with him, opening the door and leading him in. _Get him drunk. Get him talking. You can do this._

He took a deep breath.

***

A good hour of stale small talk later, Draco had enough information to have some sort of profile on her. As soon as Cormac headed out the door, Draco locked it behind him and trashed the bottles the bloke had taken upon himself to finish, while he threw out the one he’d decided to have. He decided to write everything up as quickly as possible, wanting to make sure he could get all that information on paper while it was still in his head.

_Student at London School Of Business. (of course she picked the subject his father favoured the most!) Seems like she lives somewhere nearby though, wouldn’t be walking around in the middle of the night like that, not too far from campus. _He even wrote ‘_Ex said the only time he really liked her was when they fucked_’ which Draco then decided to strike through. (_Unnecessary and irrelevant to case!_) _Has a public Instagram profile - Oh fuck._ He nearly hit follow. _Wouldn’t that have been a fucking disaster. _He just scrolled through_ all the food, frivolous spending, and countless other idiotic highlights of stupid Y/N and her stupid friends and her stupid life_. He’s probably doing them all _a huge favour_.

But this was basically all he knew about her. Cormac was obviously uninterested in discussing his now ex, with whom he’d only been with a couple months, and would rather discuss recent soccer matches. Draco politely obliged with that, but was very, very happy to see him off when he finally decided to leave.

After writing everything up, Draco informed his manager that he’d pick up the late shift again the next day, setting out a plan to scope out his victim’s college campus and pick up on her schedule.

***

The next morning, Draco woke up bright and early to the sound of his stupid phone alarm going off. He reached over to turn it off and pulled his patchy quilt over his head, but then soon reminded himself of today’s mission. _No. Not today. It’s time._

Draco had downloaded an app onto his phone last night. One that connected people happy to walk others’ dogs. Frankly, he didn’t give a flying fuck about dogs, but, he had to find a way to walk around the area without looking like a total creep. It worked. He managed to find someone nearby who wanted their beagle walked the next morning, so he reached out, and managed to arrange to pick it up at eight o’clock the next morning, which would hopefully be enough for him to make it to the campus in time for her to get there.

He was thinking of putting on a disguise too, but his plan was a bit.. immediate, so he didn’t exactly have a lot of time. He decided to skip his usual long hair routine, those expensive hair products one of the few luxuries he allowed himself to purchase. Instead, he decided to tuck his hair up behind a baseball cap. Not only was that totally uncharacteristic of him to wear, but it also seemed to perfectly mask one of his most striking features. He’d decided to go ahead and shave, however, wanting to hide any of that pale stubble that grew onto his face.

He didn’t exactly own any cosmetics, he’d thought it genuinely wasn’t for him, even after various female friends of his encouraged him to try it. Of course, before, it was also his dad who would clearly have disapproved, but even now, he didn’t understand why he would waste all that money.. in an effort to look better. _I look just fine.. but.. I need to look different, for once_. But, alas, there was no way for him to contour his face now and make it look even the littlest bit more pointed. No real way for him to color his skin to make him seem just a bit more tanned than he was. So, he decided to just busk it and bear it with a grin.

His clothes however, he decided to change up a bit. He didn’t own a lot of brightly colored clothing at all, and it was almost a joke among his old friends to tease him about how much he fancied wearing dark clothes. But _good old Pansy_, on his birthday earlier in the year, she’d taken it upon herself to brighten up his closet. She’d bought him a couple of floral patterned Hawaiian shirts, as well as a couple of multicolored sweaters. The Hawaiian shirts would look a tad out of fashion and probably even more weird out like this.. so, he settled on one of the sweaters. He even put on a pair of boxy sunglasses that would block out the greyish sapphire of his eyes.

_My best features won’t be on display.. but it works for the cause,_ he decided, as he looked himself over in the mirror. He set his cap tight on his head and took a deep breath, walking over to his night stand to pick up his phone and wallet. Alright, time for the first step of your first mission. _Don’t get too jittery. She’s just a girl. A very rude, annoying girl._ He set them in his pocket and cleared up behind himself, tidying up his bed in an to attempt to shrug off his nerves.

_Not to mention, stupid._ He reminded himself as he stepped out.

***

He headed to his nearest convenience store after he got out, picking up a new pack of cigarettes. He lit one up to fill his insides with tar (rather than with doubt), and walked over to the dog’s owner’s place, engaging in some polite conversation and finally escorting the dog away. It was a small brown beagle, about two years old. The dog sniffed him up the moment he arrived, but Draco managed to get it out of the building without it noticing anything too weird about him.

He fixed his sunglasses one last time as he neared the campus, looking around a few times as the dog walked around and annoyed other pedestrians with its nosy snout. He checked out the map on his phone one last time before finally nearing the campus he’d been thinking about for most of the night.

He reached for yet another cigarette, but fumbled slightly, dropping the pack on the floor. As soon as he leaned down to pick it up, the goddamned dog decided to run up at someone and his leash fell out of Draco’s loose, shivering grasp. _It’s the nicotine, THE NICOTINE_.

The dog barked, almost in celebration, and continued across the campus, running along the lawns as Draco finally clutched the pack and ran off after him.

_You’d never think something so small and annoying could be so fast._ His heart began to race, almost uncharacteristically. He was an avid soccer player back in secondary school. He didn’t exactly have a low stamina. Suddenly, the dog stopped in its tracks, sniffing desperately at someone’s grey sneakers. He heard a soft giggle and froze himself, slowly looking up to lock eyes with… his own victim.

_How’d this bitch managed to calm down the other?_ He thought to himself. She didn’t seem to recognise him, so he tried to keep up an act. She knelt down and began to stroke its head, drawing attention to her short, perfectly manicured nails. _Fucking priss_.

“Your dog is so cute.” She uttered, her voice all flowery and sweet for some reason. He gulped and bent slightly himself, his hands on his knees as he looked down at the mutt. “Thanks.. I agree.” He forced his voice to be a bit more gruff and raspy. _Like one of those guys on WWE_. She smiled and looked up at him again, almost curiously. “He’s a beagle, right?” _He?_ “Uh.. yeah. Only two years old.” The dog made one of those soft, squeaking noises that made Draco cringe, but she looked at it with even more fondness.

“You’re such a sweet boy, so sweet.” She scratched between his ears and looked up at him again. “He really is. You’ve trained him so well.” He chuckled and felt his cheeks flush. _What? You are really out of it today._“Hah.. thanks. He can be a bit annoying sometimes, though.” She just shrugged slightly. “Ah well, isn’t every boy?” She sighed, and Draco was suddenly reminded of last night’s events, which of course, this innocent dog owner knew _nothing_ about. “I guess so.” He didn’t really know what to say at this point..

“But, you seem nice. Do you.. stay around here?” That same smile returned to her face and she fluttered her lashes. _What is she doing? She just broke up with that prick last night._ “I.. uh.. No.. j-just visiting a friend.” He croaked out, reaching down and grabbing his leash. “Oh, um, alright. Nice to meet you.” She slowly stood up, smoothing out her hair. This allowed him to get a good look at what she had on : a thick purple turtleneck sweater and yet another pair of dark jeans. That same plaster from yesterday was visible through the fabric. “I should get going..” She started, looking down at the barking dog again. “Bye bye!” She waved at the animal, then up at him again, walking off. Draco did the same, albeit reluctantly.

He turned around and looked the other way, clenching his jaw. _You can’t.. get friendly with your victim like that! Thank god she’s so dumb, otherwise she would’ve seen right through your shoddy disguise._ The dog yipped again. _Oh goddammit._ He turned back towards Y/N to see her looking back at him, before flinching and walking off again. _What is she doing? She didn’t recognise me. Oh fuck, or did she?_ She started off at a brisk pace, rounding the corner and walking to another building.

The dog decided it needed to empty its bladder, so it walked over to a brief patch of mud by the concrete to do its business. Draco followed and decided to wait at the position a few minutes, so he could continue and follow her to her first class.

Soon enough, it finished up and he lead it to a courtyard, where there were students sitting around and even perking up as they noticed the dog._ Shit.. they’re just going to blow my cover.. I should get out of here._ He turned to leave, pulling the dog quickly along with him.

*** 

Even though his trip to her university had been.. unsuccessful, he reassured himself. _Thank god she feels the need to document so much about herself on social media. I’ll get more on her in no time._ He headed back to the dog’s owner’s and returned it, lying and telling him he’d been an absolute angel. He rolled his eyes the instant he shut the door, quickly walking off and back to his place.

He decided to smoke a few more cigarettes in an attempt to de-stress and thought to walk down to his apartment building’s basement to kill time until his next shift. He walked past the wall of mailboxes for each of the many flats in the building and stopped as he realised there was something sticking out of his own. He didn’t have the key for it, but the haphazard way this envelope had been wedged in, it was clear he didn’t really need it. He tossed the cigarette in his hands to the side and reached to pull it out.

_Careful.._ He thought to himself, holding up the metal flap and drawing out the surprisingly light envelope. He wasn’t careful enough, though. The flap drew back alarmingly hard and pushed his hand out of the mailbox, leaving a slight cut on his finger. He drew his hand back and looked back at it, pressing it in an attempt to stop the slight bleeding.

He grabbed the envelope tightly in his bleeding hand and walked back up the stairs, hands in his pockets as he winced slightly in pain. He unlocked his door as fast as he could and walked inside, shutting it behind him as he walked over to his couch. He took a seat and looked the envelope over. _Hmm… no return address or sender? That’s weird._

He opened it up, a small trickle of his blood down the side of the paper. He pulled out the letter, which was a single note folded in half. His fingers quickly unearthed the message inside, and he couldn’t help as the feeling of absolute shock flooded his mind, a crease furrowing in on his forehead as his eyes widened behind his dark shade.

_Be careful, Malfoy. I can see you._


	3. Hard To Swallow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco's all ready to kill Y/N. But is he the only one who is?

It had been a.. surprise, to say the least. Really. To say the absolute least.   
  
_What the fuck is happening? I haven’t told.. a single.. person around here my last name. I could never have._ He threw the letter down to the floor, still holding his bleeding finger tightly. _The only ones who know are my boss and the landlord. But I think he remembers it wrong.. after all, it isn’t.. _He almost retched. _Mafcoy._

But there was absolutely no reason for the elderly missus to try to freak him out, was there? No reason at all. Right? She definitely wasn’t one of the people who his father had stolen from, right? She wasn’t some criminal mastermind who was secretly looking for revenge? _No! Of course not! That’s.. ridiculous. Totally! That’s comical! It’s.. _

_Insanely perfect! _

What better way to poke at someone than to appear absolutely vulnerable? He would try and do that with.. Y/N but he didn’t have the figure for it. Tall. Lanky. Sharp-featured. Not to mention, _ridiculously handsome_.. Okay, he was getting ahead of himself here. Someone was watching him. Who? _Who?_

Had one of his dad’s old colleagues figured out where he’d moved? Were they just trying to shock him into being nicer? Or to leave the country altogether?_ Or was someone planning to kill him?_

Why would _anyone_ want to_ kill_ him? He was clearly just in over his head! _Goddammit, Draco. Shut up! It’s.. just some stupid prank!_ Of course! _Some stupid git has found out your name and just wants to freak you out!_ He sighed and walked to his bathroom, pulling off the cap and sunglasses. He opened up his cabinet and took out a bandaid. He opened the packaging and began wrapping his finger in it, then began to stare at himself in the mirror. 

He’d been focusing on the wrong detail this entire time.. _Someone had said that they were watching you! Jesus Christ, Draco! _He could feel goosebumps forming at the back of his neck and he shuddered. Had they planted hidden cameras in his home? Was there someone stalking him? Had someone actually managed to hack into his devices and watch him from the cameras? He felt jittery and decided to calm his nerves with another fag, reaching into his pocket for the pack.

***

Unfortunately, even after Draco decided to take every precaution possible (put duct tape over the webcam of his computer, do in all the blinds of all his windows, check cabinets he normally didn’t open for bugs), he wasn’t any closer to figuring out who it was that was watching him.. He could only hope it was the same for Y/N, but of course, she wouldn’t even know he was following her in the first place, he didn’t send her an ominous note saying that he was.

_Some people are just too.. over the top._ He decided. _Better to work hard in private than try to scare your target._

And so, he decided to put in the hours. He had several until his shift, anyways. Further research (or.. checking Y/N’s Instagram account for updates, rather) managed to work out for him a bit. He managed to lay out the locations where she’d most recently posted from in hopes of figuring out her usual hangout spots. It had been fairly easy and ridiculously predictable. Every location she visited was in close proximity to her university campus. Of course. It definitely wasn’t creepy for a random guy to walk around a campus, even if it was in the middle of a bustling city, not attending classes and just searching for a certain someone. _Goddammit. Why did there have to be so many people everywhere all the time? Makes everything that much harder._

He groaned, instead getting up to grab some lunch.

*** 

He managed to make no real progress until suddenly, as he was sitting in the Employees Only room, it was as if an angel heard his prayers.. Okay, no_ angel_, it was just Y/N. 

It was too cold to head out for just a smoke that evening. The regular breeze had worked itself up to a strong, blasting wind which threw icy air at anyone in its path, and no matter how badly he wanted a puff, he wasn’t ready to risk getting winded for it. So, for his good old break, he just had to gussy up and hang around in the room where his, now suspicious, boss hung around. He kept himself as far as he could from her, sitting down in a corner and pretending to look busy on his phone.

Soon enough, he decided to check his soon-to-be victim’s account and saw an update on her story. There was some kind of a poster for a club he recognised seeing on maps. 

> _ **Carts & Horses.** _
> 
> _Singles Night! _
> 
> _Free pints up for grabs for the winners of our Karaoke Competition!_
> 
> _Happy Hours are from 7 to 9!_

She’d added a short caption underneath it, “Does anyone wanna join me?” _Jesus Christ. She moves on quick, doesn’t she?_ He stared at it for a few seconds before shutting his phone and thinking about it. It was for this coming Friday.. A good four days for him to ready everything. He just had to find a way to prick her with the needle without anyone noticing him do it. That was all it had to be. And what was good was, her little question made it clear she wasn’t going to go with anyone she was close to. 

Now, he could actually get to setting out a concrete plan for that fateful Friday night.

***

Everything was ready. Mostly. 

He’d sorted out everything to do with the injections, i.e. managed to sneak into the pharmacist’s section of the store and take out what he needed while modifying the online inventory. He’d then combined them in his own kitchen! Of course, it was a bit difficult getting everything into those syringes and then capping them without creating too much of a mess.. but it seemed to have worked. Obviously, he didn’t have a test subject. Although.. he supposed Y/N was technically one. 

He’d need enough time and a secretive place in which to conduct his plan out without being noticed.. and this was hard. The whole procedure, if it was to be conducted, would take at least take ten minutes. What to do.. What to do.. 

He couldn’t attempt to seduce her and bring her to his house (which, admittedly, might not have worked because of their spat from earlier) because.. people might notice and remember. He’d have to try his best to stay undercover and go unnoticed.. but how could he do it while still trapping her while she was fishing for someone to hook up with? This was going to be hard.. 

***

The day finally approached. Draco managed to get out of going into work for the day by feigning a strong head-cold. Easily done, what with Draco’s brilliant acting skills and.. his boss being the slightest bit hard of hearing. He spent the day planning what to do. 

He realised that lurking around or in the corners of the pub likely would not sit well with any of the actual patrons, so he’d have to enter it and hang around a bit. Obviously, he’d keep his distance and try not to attract attention to himself. (Although, he couldn’t help it if people did swoon over him..)

Draco tried his best to pick out something that would make him.. fit in with his surroundings. What did blokes wear to pubs again? It had been a while since he’d socialised, especially in a setting like this. He decided on a black button-up shirt and a pair of tight fitting dark trousers. _I mean, I can’t exactly go in looking badly dressed, can I? _He remarked as he looked himself over in the mirror, a slight grin on his face. _Okay! You aren’t trying to get laid, you idiot._ He took a deep breath.

He shook his head as he packed everything carefully into his thick coat. _Okay. Run it over again._ He shut his eyes tightly. _When she’s by herself, make sure she doesn’t see you and grab her from the back. Give her the midazolam and then gag her and blindfold her. Tie her hands up as soon as she loses control. Then, after five minutes, give her the vecuronium bromide. Then, as she stops breathing, give her the good old potassium chloride, then get out of there as soon as you can._ Jesus Christ, it did sound ambitious. But, with a bit of luck, it would work out just fine.

***

Draco managed to make it to the pub a few minutes past 7, which was when he thought the bitch would decide to show up. Even spoilt kids search for discounts sometimes, don’t they? He didn’t enter the pub at first and just gazed in, looking around for _her_. 

And there she was. Sitting by herself at the bar. He felt that same slight annoyance at her presence, but she looked.. _good_ tonight. She wasn’t that bad to look at if she didn’t open her mouth, really. She was wearing a red shirt and some jeans, which all looked.. fairly tight, even in the distance. She was looking towards the entrance now and then, seemingly waiting for someone while she sipped slowly at a drink. _So.. maybe she is here with someone? Or maybe waiting for someone? _It was unclear. _Either way, I should be able to grab her when she’s getting in or out of the ladies’ room_.

He stepped into the pub, staring down at the floor as he found a seat by the bar. It wasn’t too far from where she was sat, but enough that she wouldn’t see him unless she tried, and if he tried hard enough, he could ignore whoever it was singing like an absolute tosser. “Grey Goose on the rocks, please.” He muttered, looking to the bartender so he didn’t look like a total creep. And of course, a little liquid courage certainly wouldn’t hurt.

“Ten pounds. Lemon?”

“No need, thanks.”

Draco slid over a note as the bartender passed him his drink, then looked over at Y/N.. who was now.. looking at him. _Shit!_ His eyes widened but he quickly glanced to the side, hoping to play it off as just a.. casual.. scan of the room. But no! She’d seen him staring right at her.._ Fucking hell._

He grit his teeth and turned to the side, covering the side of his face with his hand. Hopefully she didn’t realise it was him…

Who was he kidding! Of course she did! He should have gone ahead and dyed his hair darker to blend in, as much as he would have hated it. He should’ve actually bought some makeup and done something to his face to look different. _God-fucking-dammit!_ He almost slammed his fist onto the table as he felt himself grow all the more frustrated. 

He felt his ears turn red and shook his head. It’s not that big of a deal. Of course not. He just had to avoid getting into any conflict with her. If he just sat here and avoided her, she definitely wouldn’t approach him, right? She was looking for someone _nice_, right? Although.. her last affair did seem questionable. He quickly glanced over at her again and thankfully, she’d looked away. He wondered what had prompted her to take such quick action.. or not really, seeing that she was just sitting by herself, drinking whatever it was she was drinking. She seemed to shrug off people coming over to talk to her as well, instead just staring down at the counter in front of her. Suddenly, she turned to look at him again with an eyebrow raised.

He felt color flush his own face and he looked to his glass, internally whacking himself in the face with it. Why would he make the same mistake twice? What was he doing? He soon heard the light tapping of heels near him and shut his eyes tightly. Draco, it’s over now. You’re going to have to plan for some other day. Or.. pick another victim. If enough people see this, they’ll know she hated you.

“What were you just.. doing?” She was almost uncharacteristically soft, like she was trying to hide something. 

“Nothing.” Draco murmured instinctively.

“Come on.” Y/N sighed. “I caught you staring at me. Twice.” Could it be.. ickle Y/N was ashamed to be spotted here? On ‘Singles’ Night’? He clenched his jaw to force the corners of his mouth not to curl up into a smirk.

“Just.. curious.” He uttered, still staring at his glass. Y/N put a hand on the counter next to his glass and he almost shuddered. 

“Are you here.. for.. Singles’ Night?” He turned to look up at her and froze, staring into her eyes. “What? What is it?” She drawled out, squinting slightly at him.

He stared at her for a few seconds and it suddenly hit him. This.. this girl. How was he supposed to kill her? She was a person, just like him. A person with memories, with loved ones, with goals. _No, stop it._ He shuddered and looked to the side, face growing hotter. _She’s abused her lifestyle enough, she has to pay, doesn’t she?_ He almost jolted upwards as he heard a slight clunk on the counter beside him. 

“Um.. are you alright?” She was still looking at him, her hand falling back on the counter.

“I’m fine.. and.. yes. I am.” He managed out, gulping nervously. 

“Oh. Um.” Whatever retort she had planned seemed to suddenly fizzle out of her mind. “Okay.”

“Are you.. as well?”

“Yes.” She seemed to turn pink herself. She suddenly turned towards the counter herself. “Excuse me.. Could I have an iced water please?” The bartender nodded and walked to the side, grabbing a glass.

She swallowed softly herself, pressing her red-painted lips together in a way which made Draco want to touch them for himself. He felt that same pang of guilt all throughout him. He could feel those syringes in his coat weighing him down, pulling him towards the floor, almost. 

The bartender slid a glass over on the counter, right next to Draco’s. He turned to look.. and surprisingly, they were hard to tell apart. Both were clear.. and iced. He guessed which one was hers and handed it to her, after which she took a few sips from it, absolutely silent. It certainly was growing a bit awkward between them.. Draco didn’t really have anything unpleasant to say to her and frankly, he wasn’t exactly sure what to do in front of her like this. 

_Her.. almost murderer, am I?_ He looked over at the counter again. His drink.. was a little fuller. Had the bartender refilled it for him? Gee, he hoped he wouldn’t be charged for that. 

Suddenly, Y/N pressed both her hands against the counter and let out a deep, deep breath. His eyebrows furrowed and he looked up at her face, which was steadily turning a deep shade of red. She brought a palm to her face and felt her cheek. “What..? Oh-” She mumbled out, then started walking away from Draco. She continued to speak but began to slur her words, and her steps grew more and more sluggish. _Funny. Very funny. Is this her idea of a joke?_ This seemed.. unlikely, considering her usual.. turbulent nature. _Or, is she just bad at handling her liquor?_

**SLAM!**

He heard the loud thud across the floor from him almost before he realised Y/N had fallen to the floor. Her arms were on either side of her torso as her face lay on its side, her lips slightly parted. Her legs shook slightly but then lay flat on the floor, spread out on the floor. What? What was going on?   
  
He quickly got off his bar stool and rushed over to her, while the crowd nearby her hushed up. Whoever it was singing karaoke shut up as well. Someone yelled something over at him but it just.. faded away. 

Was this because of something he’d done? Or.. was someone else trying to attack her.. as well?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first work that wasn’t betaed, so any errors or as such are all thanks to me :P any and all feedback is highly appreciated.


	4. Flunitrazepam

_Flu•ni•tra•ze•pam is a benzodiazepine with pharmacologic actions similar to those of diazepam that can cause anterograde amnesia._

Draco had read this one sentence over and over again on his phone after the doctor had informed him that she was in a Flunitrazepam-induced coma, but for some reason, he couldn’t grasp the words at all. He knew what they all meant by themselves.. but his brain was too muddled up to tell what it was supposed to mean. It was supposed to be a date-rape drug, apparently.. but.. who was upto things like that in a pub like that? One of the blokes who’d asked her to dance that she’d said no to, or the bartender. (but then, why would he want to ruin a perfectly normal glass of water when she’d been sipping on something alcoholic all night long? Easier to mask it then, no? Why had she had such an immediate reaction to it anyways?)

There’d been a big rush at the bar after Y/N had collapsed the way she did. Everyone got a little panicked and were about to start pointing fingers, but the bartenders distracted everyone by just calling an ambulance. Of course, Y/N had been there alone, and so everyone sort of anticipated Draco to go along with her. And, what kind of Malfoy would he be if he gave up so easily on his one huge conquest? And so, he went along, telling the paramedics and the doctors in A&E everything he knew so far. (_“She had a sip of the water at the bar and just collapsed, I don’t really know…”_) According to him, it was quite easy to decipher what had happened, but the culprit’s motivation wasn’t easy to comprehend in this case. She didn’t seem to be leading anyone on at all, and he didn’t expect the bartenders to have called for immediate care if they’d been the ones who’d drugged her.

He’d been sitting by Y/N’s bedside for a long time now. He’d even fallen asleep for a few hours, his black coat pulled over his knees as a makeshift blanket. He remembered when the nurse had shook him awake, asking him if he knew where the girl’s family was and what his own relationship was with her. Both of these questions were ones he didn’t have answers to, so he just shrugged his shoulders and said he was her _friend_. 

_She surely wouldn’t like that_. He’d thought to himself right after, almost smirking at the thought of her growing annoyed, but that only reminded him of his mission. He felt up the coat in his hand and felt the weight in his side pocket. The syringes were still right there and his target was right in front of him. All he had to do was draw the curtains round them after the others left them alone and give them to her. Although he realised that the nurses and doctors who’d tended to her would recognise him now, he could feign being alarmed and heartbroken. Right?

Whoever it was that had dosed her drink with _Flunitrazepam_ had made his job quite a bit easier. After performing blood and urine tests within the hour they’d arrived, the doctor had said she’d be in a coma for the next seven hours or so, giving Draco ample time to make the moves he’d want to.

But something held him back. Something forced him to sit where he was, warily gripping the heavy pocket of his coat, almost trying to hide it. It was true, what he’d heard. _Thinking about murder and committing it were two different things._ The anxiety bubbling up in his stomach somehow calmed down long enough for him to nod off. 

He stared at the girl lying flat on her back on the bed, blanket pulled up all the way up to her chest as it rose up and down slowly. You could see the top of the blue scrubs a nurse had changed her into (after first asking Draco if it would be alright for him to step out, in response to which he’d turned a wonderful shade of pastel pink and nodded frantically, quickly stepping out of the area and drawing the curtain behind him) and how they stood out against her skin. Her red lips had parted slightly as she slept on, soft exhales exiting her mouth, her eyes shut tight. She was more vulnerable than he’d ever seen her like this, fast asleep with her nostrils flaring the slightest bit.

It was very, very easy to kill her in that moment, if he’d had the courage to. _You’re just a coward, aren’t you? _Some part of him was still trying to coax him into it, to grab the vecuronium bromide and just inject it into some part of her that the doctors wouldn’t see at first. _Father was right all along. You do nothing but give up and disappoint everyone, like right now, you’re disappointing good old Hoyt. _He huffed and clutched at his pocket again, gritting his teeth. _If only he hadn’t died in prison all those years ago, he would have been glad to see someone was carrying on his legacy. _

He brought his jacket up slightly, adjusting it so that he could take a look inside the pocket. He reached inside and ran his hands over the hard plastic, keeping far from the sharp metal tips. Suddenly, he heard footsteps approaching and laid his jacket over his thighs again, looking around. There wasn’t much time left until she was supposed to wake up, and so he knew he should try to get rid of whoever it was approaching them as quickly as possible.

The same aged woman who had earlier introduced herself as Dr. Pomfrey strolled past the curtains drawn around the bed and everything around it, carrying a clipboard in her hands. Her long, greyed locks were curled up into a bun at the back of her head, tied so tightly that her face always seemed to be paying attention. Her piercing blue eyes stood out, even through the spectacles that adorned her face. She glanced down at the board and then at Draco, looking at him in such a way that made him feel like she knew everything about him. He give her a slight smile and she returned it, albeit more warmly.

“Alright, so, seeing as you’re the only one here for Miss Y/L/N.. “ She cleared her throat and brought her hand to her mouth, narrowing her eyes slightly. “Her blood alcohol level has decreased greatly and she should be able to get herself discharged after she gets up. There doesn’t appear to be any.. permanent damage as a result of the Flunitrazepam, but we can only be sure of that once she wakes up. From what you said, she seemed to have received a very heavy dosage, all at once. She will likely wake up a bit agitated.” _Not any different from normal_. He sighed.

Draco opened his mouth to speak but paused, pursing his lips and glancing over at Y/N. _Permanent damage? Really?_ He then looked back up at the doctor and nodded. “Alright, thank you, doctor.” He looked back over at the girl laying asleep (or would you say unconscious?) on the bed, bringing a hand up to set on his jaw, forcing some concerned expression on his face. But it wasn’t entirely ingenuine..

_So, someone could really have been looking to.. like, put her in a coma?_ He shuddered at the thought. _Someone was really planning on hurting her like that? Jesus Christ. _

“Um.. uh.. Mister..?” The woman’s voice quirked up slightly and he looked back up at her, grey eyes wide as his eyebrows quirked up. “You have to make sure she doesn’t perform any strenuous activity for the next few days.” 

“Oh.. we aren’t very close.. I don’t..” He suddenly realised what she was suggesting and blushed, not even able to form thoughts. “Oh.. no.. it’s n-nothing like that. Really.”

“Sure, alright. Just keep an eye out, yeah?”  
“Sure.” He looked down at his lap, trying to force a more neutral expression on his face.

_She hates me, I’m trying to kill her and this old lady really thinks we’re fucking or something._ The doctor stepped out, the curtain drawn open slightly. He looked outside and let out a deep sigh. He should probably get a breather. He certainly wasn’t going to be able to kill her now. He glanced at the Rolex on his wrist and rolled his eyes. It was almost four in the morning and he was now wide awake, but goddammit, he couldn’t really even blame the girl, could he? He could only see himself at fault by this point, he had had such a good chance in front of him. But.. why couldn’t he take it? 

He supposed he’d had enough of that internal dilemma and stood up, exhaling loudly. He set his jacket on the chair and walked out in search of the nearest restroom, suddenly realising how bad his breath was. 

***

He was away for nearly half an hour, having purchased a travel toothbrush and paste, brushed his pearly whites, washed his face, attempted to smooth out his ruffled hair and even ate breakfast. He took his time with everything, not exactly looking forward to his next brush with Y/N. 

He walked back to her bed slowly, trying his best to not act like his steps felt as heavy as they did. He half expected her to be chirping about, sucking up to the nurses and the doctors. They’d tell her about him being there for sure, and she’d react to all of it as if it was him who drugged her. _She really is so difficult… I should just get out of here while I have the chance._

He walked in through the gap between the curtains, eyes fixed on the floor as he walked over to his chair, when suddenly, he bumped into a warm body in front of him. “Sorry.. I-” He froze as he realised who it was. The girl who’d been on the bed this far was standing in front of him, legs bare in those ridiculous scrubs and her hair messed up after lying on the bed for so long. Her face was slightly puffy and she was squinting up at him, hands on her hips. 

“What are you doing here?” Her voice was raspy and hoarse. She seemed to realise it herself and gulped, then coughed to clear her throat. “Are you seriously following me around?”

He rolled his eyes. “I brought you here, you know? Came in the ambulance and everything.”

“And why is that? 

“You collapsed out of nowhere in that pub. Drank a bit of water and got knackered immediately.”

“Oh.” She suddenly paused the way she was, smudged lips curled into an ‘O’.

“You must be one hell of a drunk. Just a sip of water was so out of place for you..” He smirked, unable to resist the temptation to tease her.

However, she didn’t even react and walked back over to the bed, slumping down on it. She sighed loudly and lay back down. Draco followed her movements with his eyes and then looked to the side, and at his coat. “I should call the doctor for you, I guess.” 

He took a deep breath and that same strong antiseptic scent ran through him. He picked up his coat and slipped it on, then stepped back out of the curtains in search of a nurse.

***

He decided to go straight home after informing a nurse of Y/N’s waking up, feeling like it really wouldn’t help to have him around. She already was a bit annoyed as is, and he would just add to that and increase her goddamn blood pressure. 

He truly couldn’t understand what was going on with him anymore. _You should have taken that chance. She was lying there like that and you just sat there.. It was so fucking easy. _He reached for a cigarette, his body begging for release at this point. He couldn’t understand why his nerves were on end, why he suddenly felt so afraid. It wasn’t like anyone had caught on. 

His way home from the hospital wasn’t much too easy either. The ambulance had driven them quite far off and when his only means of transport was his own feet, his trip back home certainly wasn’t fun. He’d finished half of the one pack he had by the time he got home, sure that anyone nearby could smell him moving around in his own apartment. 

He took a (cold) shower and forced himself to take a nap, the late shift he had to take again tonight seeming particularly daunting.

***

He was standing at the cashier again, Weasley by his side. It was kind of pathetic when he thought about it, being at work on a Saturday night. If he was to travel back in time to spring, he’d be the first to ridicule someone doing the same, but now.. everything really had changed. Thankfully, shopping at a Tesco on a Saturday night really wasn’t popular. It gave him ample time to just stare into space and gather his thoughts. Of course, it gave Weasley time to pester him, which was really quite awful, but he could bear with it, somewhat. 

The digital clock in the distance told him he had another twenty minutes to get through, which he supposed would just be idle anyways. The plot to kill Y/N came clear in his head again, her sleeping face flashing before his eyes._Can I even do it anymore? I’ve already seen her so vulnerable.. can I really do it? It’s just-_

“Ahem.” He heard someone clear their throat in front of him and he looked up at the new customer. _Think of the fucking devil._ Y/N looked up at him, for some very weird reason, gave him a smile. She set her basket on the counter and he started taking them out, running the bar codes against the scanner and passing them over to Ron. “Hi?” She said to him, leaning a bit closer to the counter.

He somehow worked up the courage to meet her gaze, looking into her curious, wandering eyes. “Good evening.” He responded, oh-so-courteously, trying to keep this interaction with her as short as possible. But, of course, the devil had other plans in store for him. “When do you get off your shift?” He scanned her last item (_bread!_) and looked up at her warily._ Is she playing a practical joke on me? What is her deal?_ “What?” He said, looking her over quickly. She was wearing another dumb, colorful sweater which was tight around her in a way which made him want to stare. He looked away before his cheeks could flush. 

“It was quite nice of you, you know.” She started, keeping her eyes focused on him. “To come in the ambulance with me and everything. I kind of wanted to make it up to you. I haven’t exactly been very nice to you.. but you know why.” She shrugged and he could almost hear the smile on her face in her voice. He looked at her again, and sure enough, she was smiling shyly. _Adorably. How can I say no to her? _

“Sure. I get off in.. fifteen.” He smiled back at her, then glanced over at Ron, who looked more confused than he ever had before. He bagged up her things as she handed Draco cash this time. Soon enough, everything was done and she walked over to the exit, waving back at Draco. 

“What the hell, mate? Last week you couldn’t tolerate her and now you’re all chummy?”

“I don’t know mate.. Got some charm, don’t I?” Draco smirked. 

But if he was to be truly honest, he wasn’t sure if he should have accepted her invitation. Personally getting to know her would just.. complicate things. And the way everything had been going already, it certainly wasn’t a great idea. Of course, he wasn’t going to let himself sleep with her, if that’s what she was planning in the first place. The doctor had asked for that not to happen specifically, anyways. He sighed, putting his hands back into his pockets.

_I can get through this one night. At least. If she gives me any trouble there, I can still take care of her. _

_No big deal._


	5. Too Late

_Jesus Fucking Christ. _

Y/N had run her fingers down Draco’s arm slightly as they’d talked on her couch,and he’d thought that was the end of any sort of _physical contact_ between them. 

But, _oh boy_, had he been wrong. 

He certainly hadn’t anticipated the night ending with a hand up under her shirt, rubbing at her bare back underneath it, as she squirmed on his lap, giggling at the rare moments their mouths didn’t attempt to devour one another, barely looking for a breath. 

He opened his eyes and looked into hers, the skin under her eyes crinkling the slightest bit as she smiled. He returned it but was quick to push their faces together again, bringing his other hand up and pressing it to her cheek. She let out the slightest sound, probably of surprise, and he took it as encouragement, sliding the tip of his tongue over the curve of her lower lip.

He could barely even recall the events that’d led them up to this point. It seemed as if she’d really just jumped into his arms _(but had she? What had even gone down..?_). Thoughts weren’t exactly coming to him clearly, what with all his blood rushing to.._well_. She couldn’t possibly be drugged again, could she? 

_No, of course not. I’ve been with her ever since._

_But I suppose.. it wouldn’t hurt to check_. 

He pulled away from her and brought his hand to her jaw, holding her face in place. He gazed into her eyes intently, they seemed to hold the furthest stars on the sky and the deepest depths of the ocean in them.._ No. Focus, Draco._ He checked to see if they were unusually red or dilated or.. something else entirely.

Well, they were dilated. But then again, probably so were his.

He opened his mouth to speak, but before he could… everything faded to black.

His eyes were open but it really was dark. Wherever he was. He attempted to bring his hands to his eyes, to rub at them sleepily and try to clear up whatever sort of darkness there was in front of him. No it was a blindfold, given his face felt rather numb, but nothing could ever be that dark. He found his arms restrained, tied up. A bit more fidgeting informed him that practically all of his limbs were secured and that he was only really capable of wiggling his torso and his neck the slightest bit. He was sprawled over wooden chair and the back of his neck was aching, probably after having been there for a while. 

The slightest inkling of what might be happening suddenly popped up in Draco’s mind.

_I certainly didn’t.. couldn’t have! I suppose for the right.. no! I don’t remember talking about anything to do with something like.. this. Didn’t think she’d be into S & M like this, frankly. Did she drug me this time and then..tie me up..? Could she have done _that_ to me? No! NO!_

He started to struggle and then, to his relief, he felt his jeans rub against his thighs, he was still fully clothed and nothing really felt too.. sore, well, not unless you counted what was certainly beginning to stir between his legs._ Goddammit. Fucking… wait._

_Did that even happen? The kissing? The feeling up? The.. everything?_

Draco attempted to run through the evening’s events. He’d gone to work, droned through a shift, encountered his worst nightmare, agreed to spend some time with her after his shift, been caught off guard by her actually being.. nice, for once, had some drinks and then… he’d..

He’d obviously gotten too hammered, made out with her and then agreed to something he definitely wouldn’t have otherwise, had he been sober. 

Or.. perhaps not. It just seemed too odd. He really did dream up everything like that with her. And this was some sort of nasty old prank.

“Y/N? Are you.. there?” He finally worked up the courage to call out to her. His voice sounded raspier than normal, and it was only then that he realised that his throat was parched. And that his stomach felt worryingly too empty. 

_She couldn’t have.. tied me up and gone off to do something else, right? _

_SHE HASN’T LEFT ME SOMEWHERE NO ONE ELSE COULD EVER FIND ME, RIGHT?_

“Y/N!?” He almost yelled out, trying his absolute hardest to tug his wrists away from the arms of the chair, but to no avail. 

“Yes!” He finally heard her reply. “Coming.” She sounded weirdly relaxed. Was this something she got up to often? Tying partners up in her house?

Is this why her and Cormac broke up..? Now was _he_ her partner?

_What am I doing?_

The sound of her footsteps grew louder and he could hear that she’d drawn closer. It was so quiet but he could feel her breath quiver on his lips. _He was burning up. ._ He was about to open his mouth and ask her to please, please help him out of whatever this was and tell him what happened last night.. But Y/N suddenly chose to laugh, quite loudly too.

“Wha-” Of course. She’d seen it. The very painful thing making its presence known only now. His legs were obviously bound such that it was… agonizingly obvious through his jeans. His legs secured to either leg of the chair presented ample view that too. _FUCK._

His face heated up almost instantly and he oh, so desperately wanted to cross his legs. He suddenly ran through the thoughts that tended to force any _heat _out of his mind. Soccer plays from the last decade.. cute pugs.. maybe if he thought of recent disasters..

But it was no good. She kept fighting her way back in. She was the fucking plague. Her piercing gaze. Her soft lips, her figure that slipped perfectly into his arms when she sat on him. A jigsaw piece to fit perfectly into him.

Of course, he had a jigsaw piece he so wanted to fit _into_ her.

_So badly._

He should be ashamed. He is completely off-task. Some Malfoy he is. But he just doesn’t fucking care. She’s what he wants to do, his new mission. Maybe, perhaps, just possibly : he was in love with her. Perhaps the stalking and the loathing had been some sort of cover for his actual feelings. And now, he felt dizzy, hot - 

“Hush.” She finally said, presumably inching closer to him. “Let me.” 

He squeezed his eyes shut, preparing himself _(hopefully, very, very hopefully_) for the sound of the girl in front of him getting on her knees in front of him, or perhaps the feeling of her body heat against him. Hey, maybe she’d even take some mercy on him and move into his lap, writhe against what longed to be touched, kiss him while he still had the blindfold on, bite his lip and tug at his hair in the animalistic manner he so desired. 

Or at least, he expected to hear the clatter of his stupid belt buckle as she undid it.

But that isn’t what happened at all.

Instead, he felt her hands delicately reach around his head and untie the blindfold which was tight round his face. He kept his eyes shut, bracing himself for the sunlight probably flashing into the room, as well as what the girl in front him was likely wearing.

_I wonder.. _

He normally would have gone ahead and been more snarky. Would have asked her what she was wearing before he even came close to taking a glimpse. But no. 

Today, he was too desperate.

He opened his eyes and was greeted with the sight of Y/N grinning down at him, hair slightly messy while she wore a very appealing.. little, black dress.

Oh, how his dreams were all coming true.

He let his eyes trail down her figure… she hadn’t left a lot for him to imagine for himself, _oh thank you, Jesus_. God knew what she had on underneath it. Maybe, just maybe, she had a matching pair of _lingerie_. Maybe he would tease her, just a little bit. Give her a little smug _‘All for me?_’ or something along those lines.

The ties on his limbs were far too restrictive for him to peel it off of her himself.. but it would be quite fun to watch her stri- 

“So you were thinking about me, Draco? In your dreams, I mean?” She started again and his eyes darted to her face. She lifted her hand slightly and Draco almost drew back in fear at what he saw.

A knife gleamed in her fist. 

He stared up at her, incredibly afraid. Was this the sort of thing she was really into? If so.. even Draco had his limits.

She began to laugh again, wrinkling her nose adorably. “Settle down.. I’m not going to use this on you. Not unless you force me to, darling.” 

Draco could only really ponder over what the hell she meant by that. He could soon feel the aching between his legs basically shrinking as he kept his eyes on the knife.

“So.. I didn’t know you were into BDSM.”  
“I’m not! And.. what do you mean by that..? You must be into this.. Right?” 

“I’d think you should’ve been a little bit more scared about this if you aren’t into it. Pretty out of context otherwise, you know.” She squinted down at him.

“But um.. last night? Didn’t we-?”  
“No, Draco. You passed out while we were talking..and, so I took it upon myself to.. you know.”

Draco found himself dumbfounded. _So.. it really was a dream. It was frankly, far too vivid-_

“So, I was right. You actually are into me and everything.”

“If you want to put it so bluntly, yes, I suppose I am.”

“So.. that’s why you were stalking me and everything? Wanted a piece of me all along, did you?”  
“What? No!” 

“Oh, come on. Don’t play dumb with me. Did you want revenge or something?”

“What the- No! What are you even talking about?”

“I’m not that stupid, Draco. Tell me why you were after me.”

“What the fuck? How do y- I don’t know!”

“Oh come on, so you.. wanted to rape me or something? As revenge?”

“No! No! Of course not! What are you even talking about? Do you think it was me who drugged you? Because it wasn’t!” 

“I know.. but.. stop that!” She crossed her arms, taking care to hold the knife out a little more.

“Stop what..?” His voice grew shaky with anxiety.

“Stop lying to me, Malfoy! I know you know everything.”

“I don’t! How do you.. How do you even know my last name? I know for a fact I never told you what it was.”

“The little bit of research I did was enough for me to find out about your parents. ’Draco’ is not a common name, like, at all. It’s quite funny, actually. Why would anyone name their child ‘dragon’?”

“It’s a reference to the constellation! In my mum’s famil-”

“Do you really think I care?” She huffed, glaring at him even more. “Even at the hospital, I saw.. those syringes in your jacket. Tell me what those were about. Are you some sort of addict?”

“Just.. let me out of this so I can explain myself.”  
“I would never. You’ll do it now or I’ll take a leaf out my.. my father’s book and make sure you never see the light of day again.”

“A-alright..” He looked nervously at the knife and then back at her face, gulping audibly. “So what do you want from me?”

“The truth”, She knelt, looking him in the eye.

“So-so.. I.. I might have just.. kindofplannedonmurderingyou.” He looked to the side, focusing on a very interesting patch of the wall.

“What?”

“I might have planned on.. murdering you. But.. I swear.. after that night at the hospital, I knew I could never.”

She exhaled loudly. “I knew it! I knew you had some sort of ulterior motive.. so it is because you wanted revenge? Or because you needed to get those drugs of yours?”

“No! You have it all wr-” He exclaimed but fell silent as that devilish look in her eyes grew again.

She stepped closer to him and held the knife dangerously close to his face. Her eyes were scarily wide and she grit her teeth. Draco felt goosebumps rising all over his skin and sweat trickling down the back of his neck. He definitely didn’t look as put together as he did when he set out for work the night before.

“I swear to god. Do not make me use this on you already.”. She took a deep breath. “All this time you’ve confused the hell out of me. I was trying to figure out how to get you to my place at first. You aren’t exactly easy to carry.. so I flirted with you a little, then made you come over to mine, which you did way too happily, by the way. So, I decided to slip you a date rape drug and see how you’d like it!”

“Why would you do that? Didn’t you-”  
“Again, because I knew you wanted revenge! And now that I know you know about me.. I can’t possibly let you out of here alive, now can I?”

Draco fell silent again, knowing his time was very much over. He was going to have to confess and then .. face the consequences. Was there anything he could do at this point? She was absolutely going to end all of this. Suddenly, everything flashed before his eyes.

His parents, still in prison, learning about him going missing. Wouldn’t they be devastated? All his old friends, wouldn’t they feel awful about leaving him all by himself once he lost fortune? Even fucking Weasley! He bet that tosser would cry about it. Or maybe not. Hard to tell. 

“I d-didn’t want revenge. I don’t know why I would. It’s true that I tried to learn more about you..and I might have attempted to stalk you. But it didn’t work out very well. Obviously. I was genuinely just cu-curious about murder. I swear. I did-”

“How can you be curious about murder?”

“I know.. I seriously wasn’t thinking. I was basically quite interested with this one serial killer. You might have heard of him.. um.. Richard Hoyt.” 

She rolled her eyes and looked at him sternly. “Now you’re seriously just mocking me.”

“No.. I… what do you even mean?”

“You know.”  
“I don’t! I’ve told you so many times, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“He is.. well, was my father. I have no control over it, so I really don’t appreciate your teasing.”

What..? Now, she had to be joking. 

He forced out a nervous laugh but Y/N merely squinted back at him, and so he stopped. 

“That can’t be true, can it?”

“And why not?”

“Your surname isn’t.. Hoyt. And you look nothing like him.” He certainly wasn’t as beguiling.  
“Well, obviously I wouldn’t keep my serial killer father’s name, would I? It’s my mum’s. She had to change it after he was convicted. And, that’s just pure genetic luck, really.”

“So your mum and.._ him_. Seriously.”

Draco had no idea what to say and just stared up at her in silence. This was way too much information for him to process at once. How was he supposed to devise a plot for himself to escape? It certainly was game over for him.. but maybe.. just maybe.. If he could buy himself some time.

“So.. you’re going to kill me?”

“As far as I can see, yes, I am.”  
“But you can’t.”

“And why is that?”  
“I-I have a family. And… friends. And a job. They’ll all know I went missing.”

“You aren’t close to any loved ones, I know that. As for your job.. I doubt they care much about cashiers who stop showing up.”

_Shit._

“I… I can’t die like this, Y/N, please.”

“What do you mean?”

“I.. can’t die like this. I.. wanted more from life. I wanted to finish my Chemistry degree. Get married. Have a family.”  
“Oh please.. Don’t give me that mushy stuff. You came very close to killing me. Or at least to attempting to kill me. None of that came back to you then?”

_Fuck. _

“You wouldn’t be able to live with yourself if you did.”

She actually looked nervous at that. Maybe.. he did have a chance.

“If.. you let me go now, I won’t tell anybody anything. I swear. We can just pretend this never happened.”  
“Oh, please. I.. I’m not that simple.”  
“Come on, Y/N, please. Have you actually ever done this before?”

“No.”

“Then.. then.. just.. don’t.. not tied up like this. At least give me that.”

“How.. can I?”

“Just.. just.. untie my arms. Please.”

He coaxed himself to grow a bit teary. The images of his own mother growing sad at his demise helped a lot. To his surprise (which he did his best to conceal), Y/N’s expression softened. Considerably. Maybe, to some very slight extent, Y/N returned his feelings. But of course, that didn’t matter at the moment. Not when she was ready to kill him. 

“O-okay. But you can’t try anything.” 

She leaned over slightly and set her hands on right wrist, slowly untying the material around it. Draco’s eyes lay on her and he couldn’t bring himself to look away. Was she really going to kill him? Or at least, would she try to? For now, maybe he should treasure these last few moments. He’d never felt this intensely about anything, it seemed. Even if he did make it out alive, would he be able to just.. accept everything? How.. she had tried to kill him?

Her fingertips brushed against his skin as she went along, and Draco relished every little touch. She removed the ties around both his wrists and Draco lifted his forearms up slightly, then smiled at her. Somehow, she smiled back at him. He set his palms on her cheeks and she didn’t shift away. If only he could just.. 

“My.. my elbows too, please?”

“I..okay.” Her voice was uncharacteristically soft.

She undid those ties as well and Draco lifted his arms up for the first time in many hours. He still sort of wanted to gather her up in them and pull her onto his lap.. But no. He needed to get out. 

“T-tell me.. “  
“What?”  
“Tell me everything. I.. at least deserve that. If I don’t have much more to live for..” Draco crosses his arms, but only in a ruse to scope out how much more material he had to get rid of before he could wriggle free and run.

“Fine.. I guess I should. I didn’t think anything of you at first. By the Tesco and everything. I just thought you were some prick. But.. I saw you that night. At Cormac’s building. I genuinely couldn’t understand why you were even watching me at all. At first, I chalked it up to mere coincidence.. but.. then.. The next day. With the dog. 

“Was it even yours? I was so confused. Did you really think you could outsmart me with.. some cap and sunglasses? You truly are infuriating. I thought it was perhaps.. a relative or something at first. But you still looked too much like you and a bit of your hair poked out the back, so I knew it was definitely you. I can’t believe you acted like that. I still have no idea why you would have done that. That’s why I decided to look up your stupid name and left that stupid envelope in your mailbox.

“Then.. I saw that you were viewing my Instagram stories. That was when it started driving me up the wall. Did you think I couldn’t see or something? Your username isn’t exactly subtle, you know. I figured you were tracking my movements.. So I laid out a little trap. And you fell right into it. Came right to the pub and everything, all by yourself. You really are one hell of an amateur..

“Then, I had to go ahead and make that dumb mistake. I put the pill in your drink and took a sip from it myself. I can’t believe I was that daft.. “

“That was you?! You.. you did that to yourself? You meant that for me?”

“Shut up. Don’t you dare interrupt me.” Her voice was oddly shaky, and it had been growing shakier every second she had spoken.  
  


But she didn’t even continue. She put the knife down, covered her face with her hands and began to shake slightly. Although he felt so very bad, like he just wanted to hold her, console her, never let her go.. This was the perfect time for an exit.

And so, he undid all the ties, anywhere he could find them, around his neck, around his chest, up and down his legs, everywhere. He kicked them all off and stood up, as softly as possible. And then … he froze. She was_ crying._ He could hear it. Sniffles and everything.

He couldn’t leave. Not like_ this._

He took a deep breath and walked over to her, then turned her around. Her cheeks were wet and her eyes slightly pink near the rims. She looked up at him with her eyes wide. “Draco..? How did you-”

He couldn’t possibly let her continue, so he shut her up. With a kiss. He cupped her face in his hands and pressed his lips to hers, just like he had in that stupid dream. 

_Fuck._ Her lips felt better than he ever imagined them to be. Soft and everything he could ever wish for. Actually returning his kiss. He tilted his head and brought their faces even closer, letting his tongue swipe at her bottom lip before she opened her mouth slightly and let him in. 

Oh, how badly he wanted to lose himself in the kiss. To just forget everything. To keep tasting the spearmint toothpaste the girl had used. To stay this close. To let his hands roam over her body. To finally see what was under that gorgeous dress. 

But no. Of course not. The universe wasn’t going to let him do that.

And so, he brought a hand to her neck and felt around until he found her jugular. And he did what he had to do. He pressed down on it. 

It was the perfect way to knock someone out. To be careful and just.. find their pulse point. And it worked just the way he wanted it to. She almost fell onto him, but he caught her. And he looked her over. Her adorable sleeping face. Just like in the hospital. 

For the last time. 

He set her down on the floor carefully, crossing her legs so no one could chance a peek. (Not even him! He was ready to wait. Perhaps this wasn’t the right time to think of something like that..) He even ran his hand through her hair so it looked a little more tame. He allowed himself one final glance at her lips.. 

But then, he knew what he had to do and he forced himself out of the room. 

It wasn’t long before he found his way out and ran as fast as he could do to the nearest bus stop. But… he didn’t know what he was running from. Her, or whatever he could have had with her. 

_Too late. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wooo. Okay. That was one hell of a journey. Leave a comment with some feedback! If you want to keep up with my works, check out my Tumblr - eltanin-malfoy. Shout to my beta unpeustupide (on Tumblr), for being a huuuge help with this series.


	6. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay i know IM SORRY I HAVEN”T POSTED IN SO LONG I HAVE NO EXCUSES. i have a bunch of fics fully written which i feel super insecure abt. (even a spicy drarry one) at this point i’ve kind of gotten into this circle of being overly critical of what i write and overanalyzing every detail to the point i can’t really tell if what i wrote has any worth. nevertheless i’ve been putting this off way too long so i’m finally gonna post this! and i hope that y’all like it. this is def gonna be different than what you may have been expecting but i implore you to read all of it!! up till my author’s note at the bottom.

What does one do when they’re on the run, you ask?

Well, Draco doesn’t really know either. It’s pretty obvious. In fact, he isn’t even sure whether you’d call wanting to hide from someone you almost murdered who now wants to kill you “being on the run”. He thinks it’s somewhere between hiding and just.. being a right coward.

He runs a few blocks, takes a shortcut to his house, packs up his belongings and wipes any clear identifiers of him off the place. Driving licenses, passports, just anything. Even those little clear strands of hair he’d usually just ignore. Then he covers his hair up with one of those ridiculous beanies, slips on a turtleneck sweater and covers his mouth with it. (He would have covered his nose up as well if it hadn’t been for his.. giraffe-like neck) 

It doesn’t take him very long to start to venture out of his house, scoping the vicinity for any prying (Y/N) eyes. He’s alone in the alleyway, except for a homeless man sitting at the edge of the road. Covering himself with a blanket. He seems to be asleep until, well, Draco very gracefully stumbles against some cracked up bitumen. The man sits up, stirring slowly. His eyes blink rapidly as he comes to, the sun shining down bright just at the spot he’s decided to rest at. His eyes are a brilliant blue and they almost glitter in the sunlight. He meets his gaze, just for a second. There’s something so nostalgic about it. Something so familiar, yet so very strange.

Nonetheless, Draco is still very much supposed to be getting out of there. So, he turns to the side, and starts to.. jog. Running would be abnormal at this time of day after all.

He jogs and jogs and jogs. His skinny, dainty looking legs are strangely useful for this task. He gets to a tube station just far enough from his place to avoid suspicion. Then, he does what anyone would do, and heads into the public restroom for a nice, long (and mostly silent) cry. He rushes into a cubicle, locks it behind him and then turns to face the door, covering his face. He weeps and weeps and weeps.

He was in love with her, wasn’t he! He was so stupid! How couldn’t he have known! How could he have idolized someone and somehow have completely missed out the fact that the man had had kids! Should he have just left her like that? All alone in her apartment after she’d been crying about him? Well.. it was true that she was planning on killing him. But oh dear god, she’d definitely been near changing at that final moment… oh dear god, what was he going to do? Where was he going to go? 

He thinks he sniffles too loud at one point and an oddly gruff voice in the cubicle to his right just goes “That shit not going too well, son?”, and then he laughs. Ugh.

Draco waits until he’s pretty sure that that man is gone and then he steps out, heading straight for the washbasins at the front. He’s wiped his face with toilet paper enough that he hopes it isn’t too obvious to anyone outside. A man, somehow even lankier than him, is standing at the washbasin beside his, rubbing at his hands so hard with soap you’d think there was something stuck to it. His hair.. isn’t looking too good. Neither is his face. The man notices him step to the front and seems practically captivated by him, keeps staring at him for 10 seconds straight, until he finally says, “You know you’re not allowed to do crack in here, right?”

Draco then blushes a fierce pink.

***

Draco’s quick after that, topping up his Oyster card and calling his broadband provider to cancel his wifi subscription. He even gets his number changed while he’s on the train. There’s more people there than he’s used to, but he looks ridiculous enough in his get up that most people sit as far away from him as they can. He’s thankful Y/N hasn’t found him yet though. Although, as he’s thought about it now, she probably wouldn’t follow him. At least not too far. 

Then he changes lines a bunch of times and rides the train all the way to Heathrow Airport. Aha! Do you think he’s about to take a flight out of the country? Because he isn’t! Instead, he calls up Blaise and almost cries about needing help.

“It’s an emergency, mate, I swear!”

“Oh my god, Malfoy.”

“Please, Blaise, for old time’s sake. I’m not too far from your house too. I’m at Heathrow. It’d take you five minutes…”

“Are you kidding me? I’ve just woken up, and this is what you’re calling me for? After months of not speaking?”

“I texted you but you never responded, mate. Come on… please? I thought we’d be buds forever.”

Blaise scoffs.

“Fine, blondie. I’ll be there in half an hour. Be at the pick up place when I get there, or I’m leaving. And you really fucking owe me, you know that.”

Draco sighs. “I know… thank you so much.”

“Yeah, bye.”

It isn’t long before Blaise shows up right where he said he would. And Draco is right there! His turtleneck pulled down now. He runs forward as Blaise steps out of his car and throws his arms around his abdomen.

“Oh, god, bruv.” Blaise pushes him back gently. “I was only coming out because I thought you’d have luggage or some shit. Were you travelling light for once?”

“I… I wasn’t here to catch a flight. Or get off one”

“So.. you were going to drop someone off?”

“No…”

“Oh god, you came here just to get me here, didn’t you? Jesus fuck-” He turns around, assumingly getting ready to leave.

“Bini, please.” He puts a hand on the top of his beanie. 

“I should literally just run you over for that one.” His face knits up slightly and he pauses, before soon beginning to smile. “Okay, I guess. I’ll drop you where you want me to..”

“I.. I kind of don’t have a place to be dropped off at.”

“You don’t? Where you planning on going then?”

“I was… kind of hoping…”

“Draco… always a needy little fuck, aren’t you?” He brings a hand to his temple, pressing his fingertips to it.

“Please, Blaise.. I let you stay over all those times as well.. all those times at my manor when we were kids… ”

“Christ, you don’t stop with the sentimental stuff, do you? Why do you have to know all of my weaknesses… okay. But only because Mum’s out of the country at the moment. If she knew you were staying over.. she would have gotten real mad.”

Draco doesn’t really say anything after that. He supposes Esme has somewhat of a reason to not want Draco around. What his Father had done wasn’t exactly... good for the reputations of those associated with him or his bloodline. But it was definitely nice of Blaise to offer him a place like this.

“Thank you.”

Blaise looks over at him at that.

“Did roughing it up on your own teach you how to be nice, Draco?”

“Maybe it did.”

***

So, yes, Draco does stay at Blaise’s place for a while. He does come clean to Blaise about everything that happened (“You… tried to  _ what  _ a girl, mate?”, followed by Blaise running out of the room and attempting to hide from Draco, while Draco running after him, trying to apologise and explain himself) And yes, he does agree to go to a therapist. A nice, motherly one who allows him to cry in front of him with little interruption. (Just a little “D’you want some tissues, love?”) And yes, he does spend a lot of time thinking about Y/N. He cries and listens to Harry Styles and Frank Ocean some. (Even though he hasn’t actually had his heart broken or anything of the sort! Draco is one hell of a dramatic little bitch, huh?) 

What he does begin to understand is his own constant self-victimization. He’s always found a way to find someone to blame for every little trouble in his life. His parents were why he was so bitchy and spoilt all the time, Potter was why he wasn’t as popular as he deserved to be at school, Granger was why he wasn’t the best student at school, his mum was why he wasn’t so open to having a girlfriend much too different from him and… well.. this was all bullshit, wasn’t it? 

He was being childish. He was so bitchy and spoilt, well, because he thought he was better than everyone else. He did for so long, all the time. He could only play it down when he needed to, but if he really didn’t like anyone he made it very clear that he thought they were inferior to him. He wasn’t popular at school because he treated everyone like he was better than them and Potter was just… nicer and understandably more famous than him (Draco still hates him though). He wasn’t the best student at school because Granger.. was simply more hardworking than he was. (Hey, he had to accept it at some point, didn’t he?) He wasn’t anywhere near how damn good she was… at everything. 

And he wasn’t so open to having a girlfriend much too different from him because… he was too used to everything being the way it had always been for him. He had grown up in the same house, stayed in a similar friend circle his whole life, always had the same taste of.. basically everything. That’s why he was so goddamn angry when everything just blew up for his family. Everything he was used to… was gone. He was no longer rich, no longer privileged the way he had always been. And again, he reacted by… well… channeling all his anger towards the person who had seemingly been responsible for that. He didn’t need to be as angry as he had been at his father. Sure, he was smuggling artifacts and even keeping some illegal works as decoration for their estate, but it’s not like Draco hadn’t known about it for as long as he had. He’d even been an adult when he… enabled everything that he knew happened behind closed doors. 

But his father did do everything he did for him. He did thinking he would best be able to provide for Draco and his mum that way. It was true that he was never much too generous, but he wasn’t only because he wanted to invest the money towards his own family’s wellbeing. He supposed he could understand that. And his parents were always, _ always  _ mindful of his wants. Whether it was buying every boy on his secondary school house’s team a new cricket bat so he could get on with them, to what he wanted to study at uni, his parents always had his back.

Obviously, their “work” hadn’t exactly been safe and Draco wasn’t properly insured to be able to keep up his lifestyle without them or their accounts, so that had been irresponsible on their part. But his childhood could not be considered less than good. At all. He was only ever upset because of problems he kept making up himself. And because of him distancing himself from others by thinking he was too good to mix with them.

This whole change in lifestyle had done more harm than good in terms of his personality, in a way. He’d grown a conscience. It had started by him getting angry at everyone in the place of privilege he’d once had. First, he’d gotten mad at his father for getting him where he was, then he’d hated his friends from pulling back from him, and then… well.. he’d begun to hate Y/N for being able to study and afford nice things for herself. 

His stupid fixation on Hoyt was him looking up to someone he really, really shouldn’t have. Instead of looking up to actual great chemists like Lavoisier or Avogadro, he’d idolized... someone who’d used his knowledge of chemistry for all the wrong reasons. Again, him trying to get back at people who’d stayed rich while he’d lost all his wealth. Instead of working to be more successful than them or anything of the sort, he’d gone straight to the extreme and tried to think about how best to kill one he’d grown envious of. 

The interesting thing is, he doesn’t come close to seeing (or even thinking about) Y/N for a while. He lives harmoniously. He writes to Oxford and tries to get back into his second year. He writes to his college there and even applies for a need-based scholarship.

What’s surprising is, he gets it! He gets back in! His grades back then were reason enough for him to be readmitted into the program, and he just feels thankful for a second that Granger was never interested in taking up Chemistry at uni. He gets himself a job near Blaise’s place, rents another apartment, has a birthday party for Blaise there and meets up with his old friends again. They’ve all grown apart a bit now (understandably so, he was sort of.. the one who bossed everyone to be together most of the time). He even grows closer to them than he ever has before. Actually feels like they’re his friends.. rather than his minions.

It’s springtime and there’s still a lot of time until he has to get back to Oxford that fall. Somehow, even with his parents still in custody, everything seems to have somehow fallen back in place. Even better than before. Everything seems… peaceful.

That is, until he runs into Y/N at his therapist’s office! (Yes, you read that right! :)

He’s only sitting in the waiting room, reading something silly on his phone when he hears… that voice. Stepping out of the therapist’s office.

“Thank you so much, again.”

The woman inside mutters something inaudible in response and Y/N giggles softly. Oh, dear god.

He looks straight up at her, slowly pressing his phone into his lap. Oh no, oh no? Should he be here right now? Should he have told Molly Y/N’s name when he was explaining everything? Has Y/N told her about him? Has she connected the dots at all? Has Y/N followed him here? If Y/N actually has no idea he’s here, how on earth is she going to respond to the sight of him? Should he hide, for her sake? Would Y/N think he was stalking her again? Would Y/N think he was doing the same thing now and have some sort of attack in the office? He quickly looks to his lap again, trying his best to somehow hide away from her. Even though he was alone in the waiting room… and he was quite a bit taller than the seat he was sitting in.. and his blonde hair wasn’t exactly subtle. Maybe he really should have dyed it darker, that time he was considering it, maybe he was right about that. Maybe it’d even su-

“Draco?”

Oh, _ fuck _ .

He looks up at her, meeting her gaze a little slowly, eyes scoping out every plant pot in the back before they finally… reach.. their.. target. His ears are burning now, and it’s so quiet there that he can hear the blood rushing through them. Neither of them says a word, until, well, she does.

“Either this is everything all over gone or this one mother of a coincidence.”

She grips her purse a little tighter but she smiles at him brightly. Draco… then… smiles back. He should be careful, shouldn’t he? She’s lured him in once like this. And there’s no reason for her to be so nice to him. Not… after everything. She should hate him. She really should. Is she on something? Does she take meds? Or is she nicer when she doesn’t think worse of you? But shouldn’t she be thinking worse of him? If anyone should be doing that, it should be h-

“Hello?” She’s waving her hand in front of his face. Her nails aren’t manicured as they were before. “Why do you keep spacing out? Should I call her or something?”

“N-no. I’m just- I wasn’t expecting this today… not exactly… prepared. I- I guess I never really got to say it to you then.. I’m sorry. For everything… I-”

“Draco, maybe this isn’t the best place to… you know… just openly talk about this.” She gestures towards the receptionist in the corner, who looks up for a second, then, noticing the gesture, quickly looks down again. “Why don’t I.. um.. I’ll wait for you outside, yeah?”

“Y-you will?”

“I- well, yes. I don’t see why not. Not really in a rush to get anywhere right now. I have some chores to do round here. Why don’t I meet you at the cafe round the corner after your appointment? It’s an hour long, right? The one facing the Waitrose?”

“Yeah, um.. you’re not scared or.. anything like that? I totally understand if you are.”

“No.. I mean.. we know whom between us is that much better at self defense anyways. And I suppose it’d be best for me to take it in my stride after everything.”

“If you- if you really think so, I’m down for it.”

“See ya then. Good luck.”

And with that, she heads out. She’s wearing a light pair of jeans this time. With a full sleeved green top. The jeans are tight. In the best way possible.

He shakes his head and gets himself out of it. What the fuck is wrong with him? He is not seventeen anymore. He needs to get back to himself. He can’t just get hormonal at the sight of a pretty girl.

He rushes into his therapist’s office, and very soon, begins to pour his heart out to her. He tells her explicitly what happened with Y/N herself. And Molly, oh dear me, is a little overwhelmed. She’s just as lovely, though.

“Oh my. You’ve gotten yourself into something, haven’t you?”

“Yes.”

“I suppose-, well, what do you feel you should do about this?”

“What do you mean? What do you think? I’m confused!”

“I- you have to decide what to do, don’t you? I’m here to listen, clear your head about it and let’s help you make a judgement.”

“Molly!”

“Draco! Now, go on.”

***

Somehow, within that space of an hour, Draco does come to a decision. 

The decision to risk it all and try to go out with her again!

He does stay much safer this time around, though. He sends people he’s close to his location. And tells them what to do if he doesn’t wish them goodnight that night. (“just call the police”)

He sits down with her at the cafe and he pours his heart out to her as well. God knew this morning would involve him literally having to do this with two grown woman! Well, at least the one of them was expected. The other… however… also seems to empathise with him as well. To some extent.

“I… well… I suppose I can’t exactly forgive you for just deciding upon killing me the way that you did. That’s mighty fucked up. But… I see the position that you were in.”

“I- yeah.” Draco just shrugs, offering a sort of tightlipped smile. “I get it.”

“It’s amazing to finally be able to wrap my head around it somewhat, though. For so long, I thought you were still lying to me about… the… my father thing. But now I can.. somewhat grasp it. I suppose.”

“It was extremely messed up.”

“It was. But it’s not like I didn’t-”

“I mean, that seemed more like self-defense to me than anything. Yours made a lot more sense than mine.”

“Oh, that’s for sure. I’ve… kind of always been super paranoid about anything to do with… him. My mother always tells me to be careful so I kind of… took it much too far. That’s sort of why I started going for therapy. I would get such bad anxiety from the simplest of things. I’d taken a long self defense course last year, even though my mom's already had me doing Tae Kwondo since I was in primary school. And you saw what I did with you. I had knives, pepper sprays, everything and anything I would need. I’d set up an alarm system in my apartment and always spoke to someone when I went to sleep and when I woke up. I was just… constantly on edge. And you kind of just… tipped me over it, you know.”

“I know, and I’m so sorry about it. Still. I have no excuses.”

“I appreciate you saying that.”

She smiles at Draco. And he does the same. Something flutters up and down his stomach.

“I’m so glad we could talk this through, yeah? But I should get going. I do have to study and everything.”

“I-” Should Draco give up on this chance. Is this worth it? Could she ever even say yes? Perhaps she would. “Should we trade numbers? Just so we can keep in touch about it.”

“I’m-” She sighs and looks down at her lap, then up at him again. She sets her elbow on the table and leans forward the slightest, setting her chin on her palm. “I’m really sorry… but with the way things went last time… and with my recovering mental health, I just- I wouldn’t feel comfortable with it. I’m so so glad we could go over everything and come to some mutual understanding but… I don’t think I could-”

“Oh, you don’t have to worry. It’s all good. I totally get it.”

To his surprise, his heart didn’t sink. She reaches over and gently squeezes his forearm.

“Maybe we’ll meet again, huh?”

“Maybe we will.”

And Draco walked out of there, not unhappy, but finally feeling like he’d received some closure. He’d erred greatly and he really did deserve what he’d gotten (or not gotten). He’d really tried to get over her already, so it really didn’t sting when she said what she did.

For once, he knew what to expect. And he felt happy about it. Maybe he didn’t get to do bits with her, but that hardly mattered. At least now she knew the truth about him.

What mattered most was that the next chapter of his life was only leading him forwards.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you so so sos os so sososososososooooo much for reading through this series. this is very close to my heart and i appreciate each and everyone who’s managed to keep up with all of it. This final part i also chose to end without really bringing the characters together because… Y/N does not deserve it. for her, that would be the bad ending. i did this because i just think that girls often do not realise that they deserve more than the attractive guy who tries to be bad. this sounds hypocritical coming from well… me… someone who runs a draco blog, but what i’m trying to say is, we shouldn’t settle. a lot of times i feel like we forget to place ourselves in the shoes of the actual character. for what reason would you ever go out or sleep with someone who had ever planned to kill you! their good looks just won’t cut it if so, no? i feel like this is the best ending for the both of them, because draco learns to actualise his potential and to stop blaming everyone else in his life for all his problems, and y/n learns to heal from the struggles she’s had and both their endings are left pretty open. also, i feel like a lot of fanfic endings/plot developments are compromised just to get the main pairing together in the end. so. yeah. i’d be happy to hear your thoughts and any feedback you have! thank you so much for reading through you all of this as well. love you so much <3


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